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Bill Cosby Was Right

Brain damage.  I am not talking about the horrible life altering kind that you see in someone who had a bad accident or from some other cause.  Let me put that out there now.  I am talking about the form that clearly runs rampant in kids.

Before I got married and had kids, I loved Bill Cosby’s stand-up comedy video “Bill Cosby Himself.”  It is truly comedic gold.  We have all met the weekend party-goer that simply doesn’t have a good time unless someone is passed out or worshipping at the porcelain throne.  We have known the incoherent conversations with the dentist.  They seem to really know what we are saying even with gadgets and gauze packed in our mouths.  As adults we have more than likely personally experiecned these situations or at least have a baseline idea about them.

His stories about his kids and family were always funny.  But what makes things really funny?  You have to have an underlying understanding of the topic for you to “get the joke.”  At the time I first saw this video I was nowhere close to married or having kids, but his stories were still funny.  I had seen my mom throw a conniption fit.  I understood fire shooting from someone’s eyes in my general direction.  I was even the beneficiary of those wonderful grandfather type gifts.  I just had to say please and he would melt.

Now that I am married and have 3 boys of my own, I know one thing, everything that Bill Cosby said was TRUE!  Brain damage abounds in these creatures that have invaded my life.  I love my boys intensely, but they can totally leave me scratching my head.  Allow me to share.

If you tell my oldest son to stop doing something, the younger two will try it before you get the words completely out of your mouth.  Clearly the younger ones think we were just joking.  When you correct them, they give you that look of “Oh, you meant me too?”  Seeing their brother get in trouble doesn’t stop them.  Brain damage has set in.  My wife and I wind up repeating ourselvs 3 times almost all the time.  I feel a little bad for the last one (whichever one that might be).  By the time that say it the third time it’s a pretty loud screech.  I only feel a little bad for it.  You didn’t learn the first time someone got screeched at, so it’s probably going to happen to you too.  Brain damage.  They don’t seem to learn by observing.

Evidence of Brain Damage

Irrational thought patterns
Our question: “Why did you do that?”
Response: “I don’t know.”

Short term memory loss
Our question: “Did you hear what I said? Repeat it back to me”
Response: “Yes I heard.  I forgot what you said”

Faulty hearing
Our question: “Why do I have to tell you something 3 times?” (Asked progressively louder each time)
Response: “I don’t know.  I didn’t hear you”

Somehow somewhere the parent’s curse worked on us and we are raising little versions of ourselves.  I just hope that one day they have kids just like them.  We will sit back and smile and tell them “Welcome to the club.”

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